Smack your child every day. If you don't know why -- he does.

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.

People are still willing to do an honest day's work. The trouble is they want a week's pay for it.

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.