Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I don't, because if I liked it I'd eat it, and I just hate it.

I never wanted to see anybody die, but there are a few obituary notices I have read with pleasure.

If you lose the power to laugh, you lose the power to think.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

There is a soul of truth in error; there is a soul of good in evil.

There is no such thing as justice, in or out of court.

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President, I'm beginning to believe it.