When I'm on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my one iron, cause I know that even God can't hit a one iron.

You don't know what pressure is until you've played for five dollars a hole with only two in you pocket.

I'm in the woods so much I can tell you which plants are edible.

It's the most fun I've ever had with my clothes on.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes they would have come up sliced.

If my IQ had been two lower I'd have been a plant somewhere.