A man cannot be too careful in the choice of enemies.

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

America has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up.

America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.

Arguments are to be avoided, they are always vulgar and often convincing.

Bad artists always admire each others work.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Bore: a man who is never unintentionally rude.

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.

Democracy is the bludgeoning of the people, by the people, for the people.

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

Everyone who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.

Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.

Experience is the name everyone gives to his mistakes.

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

I am not young enough to know everything.

I can resist everything except temptation.

I have the simplest tastes, I am always satisfied with the best.

I like men who have a future and woman who have a past.

I think that God, when creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

In the world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but is better to be good than to be ugly.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.

Life is one fool thing after another where as love is two fool things after each other.

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

No man is rich enough to buy back his past.

Nowadays we know the price of everything and the value of nothing.

One can always be kind to people one cares nothing about.

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.

One should never trust  a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell one anything.

Put your talent into your work, but your genius into your life.

Religion is the fashionable substitute for belief.

Rich bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.

Society produces rogues, and education makes one rogue cleverer than another.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

The basis of optimism is sheer terror.

The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything.

The only thing one can do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself.

The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.

There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

To love one's self is the beginning of a life-long romance.

To toil for a hard master is bitter, but to have no master to toil for is more bitter still.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.